Kathryn DavisTo all the Moms out there trying to be everything to everyone...
We are still in a pandemic, and the stress is still very real. I have been feeling this lately and have noticed my reactiveness, impatience, and irritability spilling out on my family. Today as I was reflecting on why I've felt so anxious lately, I realized that I am trying to be everything to everyone- I am wife, mother, homeschool mom, counselor, homemaker, and friend. And as an Enneagram 3, I expect myself to do it all and do it all very efficiently.
But today I tried something new by taking homeschooling off the table, and letting my house be imperfect. Something beautiful happened in the letting go (even just a little but)- I was calmer, more present, more joy-filled. I did have to talk myself down like "Kathryn, it's ok, he's 6 and it's kindergarten," and "my house is not the way I like it but I can clean it later."
I wrote down a few of my top priorities for my kids:
Knowing Jesus
Empathy and Compassion
A love for learning
Independence and Responsibility (stewardship of their own self and the earth)
Knowing their place in God's story and their mission
Healthy relationships
Strong identity
As a mom, if all I do is point them to Jesus, and in all my weaknesses and failures, show them how I am still deeply loved no matter what and so are they, then that's enough.
If I teach them the basic skills of emotional awareness and empathy, that is sufficient.
The "rest" will come later and it will all be ok.
I do not have to be everything to everyone, and frankly I just can't. Not at the expense of myself and my family. I am finding the "good enough" by:
slowing down (and then slowing down some more)
prioritizing people over projects (relationships over to-do lists)
growing in my own awareness of my emotions in the moment
How are you embracing "good enough" today?
PS- if you are looking into resources for burnout and over/under functioning, check out Brene Brown's podcast episodes Anxiety, Calm and Over-Under functioning and Burnout